Copyright © 1997, 1998 The Changeworks.
The Dynamic Enneagram 2

"The Trouble With Typing" Continued

"The Trouble With Typing" continued

Romancing The Enneagram
I have a cat who is prone to amnesia for the contents of her food dish. The dish can be in plain sight and piled high with food, but Kitty-San will approach the nearest human and plaintively cry to be fed. Sometimes a well-meaning family member will try to remind Kitty of her food by pointing a finger at the dish. Kitty always looks intently at the person's finger, never towards her food.

If the Enneagram points to the location of our true nourishment, there's still a way to mistake the finger for the food, to grow overawed by the system itself, "romancing the Enneagram," as author Don Riso calls it. Students often imbue the model with power, as though it has a life of its own. This invariably takes them further away from its true function since the Enneagram is a means to an end and not an end in itself.

As you read about the system you may encounter its legend. Some versions of the Enneagram come with arcane, esoteric packaging and claim that the system dates back centuries, possibly to ancient Babylon. Actually the Enneagram overlaps considerably with modern psychology.

The child inside of us enjoys a good story, and calling the Enneagram "ancient wisdom" is certainly colorful marketing. But many people believe the legend and invest the Enneagram with a mystical aura and make it into a mini-religion.
The tendency to project spiritual meaning onto the Enneagram is a mistake - it's a diagnostic system. If you imbue diagnosis with a transformative power, you wind up in the paradoxical position of exalting wounds and neurosis, while thinking this will someday bring you health and salvation.

Some Enneagram students act as if they have joined a leaderless cult. They speak in hushed tones about the system's boundless truths and mysterious powers, as if the Enneagram sees all and knows all. They generally sound like a children describing a parent, in a passive relationship to a greater, wiser being.

When people start to worship the Enneagram they usually stop using it. Harboring a fantasy about the system's magical capacities somehow relieves me of the personal responsibility for changing. If the Enneagram is my religion, then all I have to do is read its books, talk about it with my friends and visit the altar of its insights. Someday, when I fully learn the system, "it" will transform me.

A related projection sees inherent spiritual wisdom in Enneagram teachers, as though their mastery of the material makes them personally evolved or spiritually enlightened. Enneagram teachers are prone to exactly the same psychological distortions described throughout this chapter and book. If an Enneagram teacher seems to believe they are an Enlightened One, you'd be right to wonder what it means about their personal trance and unresolved childhood issues.

When people speak in a spiritually romantic way about the Enneagram, they are sometimes referring to the symbol and not the subject matter. Part of the Enneagram's mythos is that its nine pointed circle stands for "cosmic transformation." Since the system's exact origins are cloudy, it's possible to project all kinds of meaning onto the symbol, imagining it to be an oracle of divine wisdom or the face of God.

Symbols don't ripen and drop from trees; people make them up. The Enneagram's figure does go back centuries, but there's little evidence that it has always meant what it does now. The familiar symbol of the swastika, appropriated by the Nazis for modern horrifying ends, has been traced back to Zoroaster and has meant different things at different times. In India it once stood for "good luck."

There's also little evidence that the present, psychologically detailed form of the Enneagram goes back much further than the 1950's. There are traces of it in the work of Theosophical writer Alice Bailey and spiritual leader George Gurdjieff, but basically the trail goes cold with author Oscar Ichazo. Since then the Enneagram has been significantly expanded upon by others, notably Claudio Naranjo, Helen Palmer and Don Riso.

Ancient Egyptians projected great spiritual power onto domestic cats, partly because of the cat-habit of staring at people with a clear, steady, enigmatic gaze. My cat sometimes looks this way but often it turns out she's thinking about tuna.
Systems of meaning are very compelling but they need to be compared with and monitored against the plainness of your immediate experience. In the end, there's no greater mystery than daily life.

Nine Good Ways to Misuse the Enneagram
A marketing company that specializes in promotional mailing lists sent me a letter advertising their services. Markings on the envelope indicated that the letter had been returned to them once because they had the address wrong. The second time the address was fine but they had screwed up the postal code and spelled my last name "Condom." Printed next to their business logo was the company's confident motto: "We're only as good as our information!"

One way your ego might react to the Enneagram is to yoke it to the service of your fixtation. This leads to situations where you are doing two contradictory things at once - thinking you are breaking free while using the material to strengthen your defenses. Some distortions of the Enneagram are more "style specific," in that they come easily to people within the bias of their style and are expressions of its neurotic tendencies. Here's a rundown of the most common:

Ones - Ones sometimes distort the Enneagram by turning it into the ultimate criticism. They may use the model as a basis for judging themselves and others, positing a new ideal self to strive for and become. They can see Enneagram styles in a too-negative way, overfocusing on what's wrong and broken; not allowing people to be more than their type. They may also form blanket judgments about other Enneagram styles: "Nines are lazy, Threes are liars, Sevens are dilettantes." Ones also fix their attention on others as a way of not looking at themselves.

Some Ones turn the Enneagram into an orthodoxy. They stop using their own words and adopt "Enneagramatically correct" adjectives to describe their personal experience, while imposing Enneagram terminology on others. Ones can also become literal-minded about the system, missing the metaphorical nature of personality styles, thinking they're as real as tables and chairs.

Twos - Twos sometimes distort the Enneagram by turning it into an instrument of seduction. Knowledge of personality styles helps the Two better blend with other people's criteria to create synthetic personal connections.

Some Twos are self-critical and can feel unnecessarily bad about their own style. They'll hate themselves for being a Two, especially if others around them don't like it.

Other Twos feel entirely too good about their personality style. They relish being a Two as a kind of identity and blithely excuse themselves for manipulating others. They may take a subtle pride in their interpersonal powers and act exempt from the need to look at their behavior. Twos will sometimes also join Enneagram communities and lose themselves in a social context, evading the need for independent, solitary introspection.

Threes - Threes may distort the Enneagram by missing its depth, instead seeing people as two-dimensional stereotypes or walking bundles of information. Some Threes fix their attention on people's surface behavior and are unable to recognize their individuality and souls. They may also get fascinated with the way the Enneagram "works," seeing the system in an overly schematic, formulaic way.

Sometimes Threes use knowledge of the Enneagram to manipulate others in the service of achievement. "Just look for one of the tell-tale signs that places him or her into one of nine categories," read an especially Threeish advertisement for the Enneagram, "then you'll know everything you need to know about them and be able to change their behavior without them finding out!"

Some Threes get competitive about typing by trying to do it too fast; they may ask a person five questions and then confidently but erroneously announce the person's Enneagram style.

Fours - Fours sometimes distort the Enneagram by believing its insights will cure them. They may use the system to pursue the one ultimate insight that will explain why they feel so flawed or alien. Study of the Enneagram becomes license to get newly mired in subjectivity, an excuse to postpone dealing with reality until the day they fully understand themselves.

Fours can find the model depressing and damning or feel insulted about being "just another unique person." Some Fours convince themselves they are special for belonging to a "rare" species of the Enneagram, citing a invented statistic that claims there are fewer Fours than other personality styles. Groups of Fours may gather to celebrate their collective uniqueness, an in-crowd for those in the know.

Fives - Fives sometimes distort the Enneagram by holding it at an intellectual distance, enjoying it as an analytical system but not letting it personally touch them: "I could be a Five or at least one of the fear types. It's very interesting to think about..." Like Fours, Fives can overvalue insight, believing that it automatically leads to personal growth, as if knowing about yourself is the same thing as knowing yourself.

If your defense is to avoid both intimacy and action by hiding in the study of a complex subject then the Enneagram is a perfect refuge. Fives can get lost in the Enneagram's study, mistaking a mastery of detail for depth, seeing the system as a set of esoteric principles that are divorced from daily life. Some Fives treat the Enneagram as a theory rather than a description of real people; the theory then limits what the Five can actually notice about others.

Fives will sometimes use the Enneagram as a way of knowing about people without being involved with them. They may form once-removed, social affiliations to exchange information about the model. A few Fives will avoid deciding on their Enneagram number as a way to resist social definition; the fear is that admitting their style could give others a weapon of control.

Sixes - Sixes sometimes warp the Enneagram into an excuse to avoid responsibility for their actions. They may fatalistically overidentify with their style, pretending to be a victim of their Sixness in a way that absolves them of the need to claim their power. One Six said, "I'm afraid all the time because I'm a Six. But I can't change being a Six, can I?"

Some Sixes reject the Enneagram or overreact to the fact of typing, growing preoccupied with the potential dangers of such a system. Other Sixes may romanticize it, deifying both the Enneagram and its teachers. A system that seems to explain everything makes for imaginary security in an uncertain world; Sixes can think the Enneagram is The Truth and get dogmatic in its defense.
Sixes may also misuse the Enneagram in the service of paranoia, using it mainly to justify their suspicions of people's hidden motives.

Sevens - Sevens sometimes learn the Enneagram intensely but quickly, acquiring a rapid overview of the model and then concluding too soon that they understand personality styles or dismissing the system as a set of restrictive categories. If they study the Enneagram further, they may try to stay noncommittal, refusing to be "boxed in" by their type, holding out for the possibility that they could have several personality styles.

Some Sevens get "trait happy" and stay fixed on people's outer characteristics. They may be attracted to formulas and equations as a fast way to learn the Enneagram, hoping to avoid the struggle of ploughing through the whole field.
Some Sevens will understand the Enneagram philosophically and idealistically but not experientially. They may put a positive spin on the material, overfocusing on each style's potential as a way to avoid the sting of the Enneagram's diagnostic depth, skipping over details to evade it's darker truths.

Eights - Eights who tend to think in caricature will sometimes come to see Enneagram styles as a set of oversimplified cartoons. It becomes another way to see people two-dimensionally.

Eights often externalize their psychological conflicts, so they may see Enneagram fixations in everyone but themselves. They are especially prone to deciding which styles they like or dislike, as if that's somehow relevant. An Eight might locate his shadow in others but then take the realization no further, instead using the Enneagram to justify his biases and limits ("I never could stand college professors and now I know why; they're all a bunch of wimpy Fives").

On the job or at home, Eights can use the Enneagram as a tool for blaming or punishing. Some initially dismiss the system as meaningless; later they may warp it into a justification for why they can't change.

Nines - Nines can allow the Enneagram to exist in an atmosphere around them while taking no responsibility for what it shows them about themselves. "Other people tell me I'm a Nine..." is sometimes the refrain.

Some Nines might be chronically "unable" to decide on their personality style. Others admit to it but postpone facing the implications, focusing on how much work it sounds like or telling themselves that being a Nine is not as bad as some other numbers. There's a quality of almost willfully missing the point, of adding the Enneagram to an already full plate of things that don't matter.

Some Nines react as if the Enneagram has given them a suddenly documented identity. They may find false recognition from overidentifying with their style, brandishing their neurotic personality distortions as a badge of confused pride, as if to say, "See, this proves I exist: look how screwed up I am."

Not Quite Getting It
Some people study the Enneagram but fail to identify their personality style. There are a number of reasons for this, beginning with inexperience. Some people who encounter the Enneagram are unknown to themselves and simply not used to observing their behavior in the way that the material asks them to. They've had no framework or use for self-knowledge; it hasn't been their walk in life. Maybe they've been busy raising kids, or had a demanding career; things went relatively well and they've not had the occasion or motivation to question their premises. Then, for whatever reason, they start to.

Sometimes people don't recognize their style because of the amount or quality of their exposure to the Enneagram. They mistype themselves based on their reading of a book or two. If you've not seen the Enneagram in action, it's possible to misidentify yourself because you lack a living three-dimensional sense of the energy and expression of each style.

As I illustrated in the chapter on Nines, occasionally, a person will study the system for a long time but maintain they still don't know their own Enneagram style. They'll say, "I've been exposed to many Enneagram teachers, I've read all the books; I know all about the Enneagram but I still don't know my style. This teacher says I'm a Seven, that teacher says I'm a Nine. What do you think?" As they say this, there's sometimes a small smile at the corner of their mouth offering a silent challenge.

Each time someone has issued this challenge to me, it has turned out that they unconsciously knew their Enneagram style but were reluctant to admit it. Always lurking in the refusal was an intelligent, self-protective objection; the person either sensed that the revelation of their style was going to be overwhelming or they feared getting stuck and trapped in a way that is resonant with their personal history. One woman said, "My father used to call me names all the time and this seems like calling myself a new name."

A person could know their Enneagram style deep down but not like it. I've known manipulative, dependent Twos who thought they were self-sufficient Fives and this belief was a expression of Twoish pride. Some Sevens initially say they are Eights because it's more flattering to think of themselves as aggressive than afraid.

Sometimes people ask, "It's not exclusive, is it? Aren't we all nine styles to some degree?" While that may be ideally true, people often ask that question when they are unwilling to face the implications of their core style. If I'm connected to all nine, then the one style that unnerves me most is not as potent.

Once in a while you'll hear a strange story about someone who believed for years that they had one Enneagram style and then realized it was an error. Often the person had accepted the diagnosis of a teacher or friend more experienced with the Enneagram.

If you discover that you have accepted someone's mistyping, you might ask, "what's been the secret benefit of allowing others to define me?" Perhaps it reflects a power you gave away to a teacher or someone you wanted to please. Almost invariably this is a veiled replay of a past relationship with a parent.
A woman once brought her grown daughter to a workshop. She was convinced the daughter was a Four, but during the course of the workshop the daughter realized she was a Six.

This was startling and upsetting to the mother who, for some reason, still needed the daughter to be a Four. She later asked me, "Are you really sure that she's a Six? Don't you really think she's a Four?" I replied, "You know, in the end, it's probably none of our business what her Enneagram style is."

The Enneagram is not for everyone. If a person is reluctant to admit their Enneagram style, maybe they aren't quite ready for this kind of self-examination. There's no point in forcing the issue prematurely. If you are ready, it's important to let the unsettling part of it touch you, to have an "Oh my God!" experience. The Enneagram is not arbitrary; if it hasn't made you uncomfortable, you may not yet completely understand its purpose. The most consistent physical sign that you've "got it" is an upset stomach.

Using The Enneagram Clearly
As author Clarence Thomson says, discovering someone's Enneagram style is ultimately an act of inference, a kind of educated intuition. Though there's no one right way to do it, there are some helpful pointers and guidelines.

People familiar with the major star constellations sometimes report confusion when they venture into the wilderness. Away from civilization's competing streetlights, so many more stars are visible that the most obvious constellations become harder to see.

If you are a beginner it's especially important to restrict yourself to searching for one thing: someone's central pattern, what they do again and again. Otherwise it's easy to get overwhelmed by too much information and too many secondary distinctions.

Those who are good at identifying Enneagram styles often begin their assessment of someone by seeking an underlying feeling. Fives, Sixes and Sevens are fundamentally fearful, while Eights, Nines and Ones react from anger. Twos, Threes and Fours often display an absence of feeling or a sense of drama without depth. If you sense that someone is fundamentally angry, it might mean that they are an Eight, Nine or One. Choosing from three possibilities is easier than choosing from nine.

Another way to eliminate possibilities is to mentally cycle through the Enneagram as you try to diagnose someone's style: "Not a One, not a Two, not a Three, maybe a Four, maybe a Five, not a Six, not a Seven, not an Eight, maybe a Nine." Even if you're not entirely sure about the person's core style, you may find that others can be clearly ruled out.

Confusion between Enneagram styles is possible because some are outwardly similar. Threes and Sevens can seem alike because both can be externally organized and tend to lose themselves in activity. Ones and Fives may seem alike when the One is introverted and shy. Nines and Twos both often put the priorities of others before their own. Again, even when outer behavior is similar, it's crucial to know what's motivating the person. Internally these styles see the world in vastly different ways.

Sometimes it's difficult to identify the style of someone you are close to. One of my best friends took me years to identify; we had too much history together and I just couldn't see him clearly. When I first met him he was prone to judgmental rages. For years I assumed he was a One, although that diagnosis never quite felt right. In the end, the only solution was to show him passages from an Enneagram book. Gradually it came clear that he is an occasionally explosive Nine.

If you are trying to type your friends, it's best to approach the matter respectfully. Sometimes this means encouraging a dialogue. You might open an Enneagram book and say: "This friend of ours, she really fits this description right here. I fit this description here; this one seems like you. See what you think."

Your friend or acquaintance may surprise you by the style they choose. Then as you think about it you might realize, "Of course! I've been staring at that all along but haven't been able to see it."

Sometimes a context will confuse things. If you think your father was a Five but there were twelve children in your family, you might have to ask, "Did he withdraw to his study for days on end because of temperamental habit or because he had twelve kids?" The most gregarious of Twos would need some time away from a family that large.

Often it's hard to identify someone's style because they are especially healthy. The person is less obviously caught in a compulsive pattern. In the end, though, they will still have one particular orientation and not another. Studying healthy people can also teach you about the gifts of their Enneagram style.

There are many published Enneagram tests that seem to work equally well. While none are 100% accurate, they at least stimulate discussion about what the Enneagram describes. Offering someone a test is another tactful way to get them involved and relieves you of the interpersonally sticky task of deciding your friend's Enneagram style for them. Whatever you can do to avoid that position is wise.

Enneagram enthusiasts sometimes launch literal-minded projects whose goal is to precisely identify the correct adjectives that best define each type. Behind the idea is an assumption that somewhere there's an "objective Enneagram" as real as tables and chairs.

Actually, writers offer distinctly different versions of the system. Some Enneagram authors contradict others or slice the same pie in different ways. Some are clearly writing about people first while others are describing a theory through which they filter people.

There are incompetent renditions of the Enneagram but even its acknowledged experts will disagree about the personality styles of particular famous people - which means someone's wrong. Enneagram experts are like blind people describing an elephant; each is clued into a different aspect of the same animal.
Partly this means is that there is no complete certainity to be had ourside of yourself. You must make it your own and take different versions of it in stride.

There is something about the Enneagram that allows people to think they understand it before they do. Unfortunately for the system's reputation this sometimes means that a person will decide to teach it too soon, inevitably in a glib, literal-minded way.

The Enneagram will meet you where you are, at your best depth, so to speak; but it will not tell you what you don't know about it. During the first eight years I worked with the model I learned it anew four different times. Each time I decided that I fully understood the material, a trapdoor opened, dropping me into new and unsuspected depths.

I've now worked with the Enneagram for nineteen years; sometimes a new person's Enneagram style is instantly obvious to me. With others it takes time and patient attention before their style will come clear. Someone will manifest Nineness in a way I'm not used to, but it's eventually evident that Nine is their style anyway. It's often wise not to make up your mind too soon - determining someone's personality style isn't a contest and grabbing at a premature certainty will just steer you and others wrong.

Whenever you have a clear success, pay attention to your internal experience and memorize both the feeling of being certain and the sensory cues that led to the correct diagnosis. Be sure to distinguish this from the desire to be certain. In the future, you can then use the experience of true certainty as a touchstone, a guide to whether you are on track or not.

As you might imagine, people who are good at identifying Enneagram styles practice a lot. They read biographies, watch interviews on television and look for the Enneagram in movies, novels and real life. They also work to see past their personal likes and dislikes, avoiding snap judgments and interpretations in favor of paying attention to what is clearly coming from others.

At the end of "The Book of the Grotesque," the narrator says that the old man who had written the book about people turning into grotesques had thought so much about his theory that he himself was in danger of becoming a grotesque. "He didn't," the narrator says, "for the same reason that he never published the book. It was the Young Thing inside him that saved the old man."

If you use the Enneagram personally or professionally, it's important to keep a Young Thing alive inside you. Partly this entails having an open mind, staying alert to what people reveal about themselves, trying to see the total person even as they inhabit a particular personality style.

It also helps to remember that the Enneagram is always deeper than it seems to be. As a system it can be worked with for years and still be yielding secrets. It is both comprehensive and incomplete, alive in a way that won't lie flat on paper. The system will keep teaching you if you stay open.

Late in his life, Milton Erickson was often asked the question, "What is hypnosis?" Typically he would pretend to think for a moment and then say, "I've only studied hypnosis for 50 years. It's too early to tell."

Remember that the Enneagram is a means to an end, not an end in itself; a floor, not a ceiling. Study of the Enneagram should ultimately make you feel like more of an individual, not less. If the system works for you -- is useful and makes life better -- then it's worthwhile; otherwise feel free to discard it.

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