* Enneagram Intro
* What People Say
NLP + Enneagram
Milton Erickson
Famous Examples
Style Specific Quotes
Tom Condon Interview
* Enneagram Exercises

* Bill Clinton's E-Style
* Death of Catastrophe

Fine Distinctions: Sixes
Self Preservation Sixes

  • Self-preservation Sixes can be warm and ingratiating; have a graceful, diplomatic sociability.
 • Try to bring out the best in others and speak well of most people.
 • Good communication skills; can tell people hard truths in a skillful or funny way.
 • Generally more phobic than counter-phobic.
 • Sensitive to using power fairly and constructively – not at someone else’s expense.
 • Could be tough in negotiations but basically have a win-win attitude. Consider everyone an equal.
 • Their home environment is especially important, home could feel like a feathered nest sheltering the Six from the world’s dangers and drubbings.
 • Good at practical tasks and managing the material details of living.
 • Often habit-bound and want the elements in their world to be known and predictable.
 • When less healthy, the Self-preservation Sixes’ personal warmth is more like a tactic, a kind of charm offensive meant to de-fang the imagined hostility of others.
 • May actively worry about their ability to materially survive; catastrophic fantasies about material loss.
 • If they sense aggression or disapproval in the environment, they counterphobically zero in on it. Then they use humor, charm, self-depreciation to make friends out of possible enemies.
 • Might act ingratiating and vulnerable in a way that invites rescue.
 • More nervously dependent than other Six subtypes.
 • Less in touch with their own hostility, since that is the opposite of the weak, warm person they present themselves to be. Victimizing victim.
 • Can take a “one down” position in relationships, non-verbally placating and beseeching, casting you into the role of an adult, making you the responsible, powerful one.

  • Lead disciplined lives that bring them strength – physical, emotional or spiritual. Being strong calms their fears.
 • Creative; need to transform a harsh world into a beautiful one; often confused with Self preservation Fours.
 • This subtype brings an artist’s eye and an aesthetic perspective, an acute awareness of beauty, a love of nature and landscape.
 • Sixes with this subtype tend to act strong or alluring when insecure.
 • More likely to be counterphobic; they take risks, talk tough, worry about looking weak, having their fears show.
 • When beauty is the focus they try to seem attractive to contain fear, get approval and distract others.
 • Some need to create and make things, to transform what they see and feel into something tangible.
 • Can be image conscious; their preoccupation with beauty can mutate into personal vanity; a stronger connection to Three.
 • May hide and contain their fears behind an attractive mask; a sense of protective distance and once-removed control.
 • A defiant/aggressive life stance is possible, an imitation of strength.
 • Anti-authoritarian and knee-jerk rebellious.
 • Intimate Sixes may project their power onto a sexual partner or sexuality itself; some report feeling addicted to sex.
 • Project power onto authorities and then fight with them.
 • Can be reckless, impulsive and prone to bad judgment.
 • Whatever the question the answer is no; can be mistaken for Eights.
 • This subtype can conflict with the Self preservation impulse in Sixes. Being creatively daring, open and unguarded is at odds with surviving and staying safe.
 • If self preservation Sixes are addicted to security, Intimate Sixes are addicted to insecurity.

  • They have steadiness and stamina. Willing to work hard in a dedicated way; a sense of mission.
 • Diplomatic; can say things and not say them at the same time.
 • Social Sixes tend to be dutiful and especially dependent upon authority.
 • They are usually more often phobic than counterphobic.
 • Idealistic; want to be of service to a group or a tradition.
 • Take on responsibility for the cause and, to that end, do things willingly and well.
 • When acting independently they will still refer to others in their mind for safety and agreement.
 • Imagine that they can’t live without the group’s support.
 • May think of themselves as a soldier in someone else’s army; a mentality of dutifulness that is akin to being a slave.
 • Might romanticize the boss and then later tear him/her down.
 • Passive/aggressive. The connection to Nine is stronger with this subtype.
 • May become joiners, hiding within a group norm, concealing their sense of deviance by attacking those outside the group who are different.
 • Their natural diplomacy devolves into a hesitant cowardice about stating their own position and taking independent stands.
 • Catastrophic fantasy is of being banished from the group and being unable to survive.

Six with a Five Wing
• Generally introverted.
 • Can have many interests and a surprising range of competencies and skills.
 • May be bookish; some are interested in history or feel rooted in the past or related to a long tradition.
 • Can test potential friends for a long time but once you’re in, you‘re in – a friend for life.
 • May use the strength of their minds to contain, distance or understand their fears. Afraid of the intensity of their emotions.
 • They are often kinesthetic and auditory, especially auditory tonal – aware of and sensitive to tones of voice and the implications they carry.
 • Intellectually curious and make take to psychotherapy and self-knowledge because it is interesting.
 • They can be difficult to read and have a “tip of the iceberg” quality – revealing little but hinting at hidden dimensions and inner intensity.
 • May feel torn between needing to be seen and wanting to withdraw for protection.
 • Can have a wary standoffish quality and project a willed remoteness. When afraid they can act arrogant, cryptic or cynical and aloof.
 • Some are argumentative and litigious, even tending towards violence.
 • Can be thin-skinned, sensitive to insults and slights and petty about keeping score: entertain conspiracy theories behind closed doors.
 • May stand back and scrutinize events suspiciously. Sometimes their arrogance covers a sense of social shame.
 • Can hide their affections and loyalties to be safe. Underneath they are romantic and idealistic.
 • An ongoing tension between wanting to be dependent versus being independent.
 • Might spend time alone worrying or plotting against their enemies, a kind of private paranoia.
 • May also like secretive behind-the-scenes group activity. The realm of spies and espionage.
 • Sneaky vengeance, passive/aggressive toward others, self-attacking and self-destructive at home.
 • Can be passive aggressive as well as depressive, dour and humorless.

Six with a Seven Wing
  • Generally outgoing, with a nervous quality.
 • can be charming, sociable, ingratiating.
 • Have a cheerful, forward-looking drive are curious about life and can be idealistic.
 • Comedic gifts and a good sense of humor.
 • Usually are more visual and talk faster than Sixes with a Five wing.
 • Have an optimistic sunny outlook and focus on the positive.
 • Some struggle with appetite and addiction.
 • Can be self-contradicting, either simultaneously – by seeming to want two things at once – or sequentially – by asserting one thing and then taking the opposite position a moment later.
 • When threatened, one defensive tactic is to become obviously unhappy but impossible to please.
 • Counterphobic Sixes with this wing can be noticeably accusative or argumentative.
 • Can become insecure, irritable, curmudgeonly, petty, irrational and chaotic.
 • Subject to mood swings, inferiority complexes and runaway fears.
 • May have hair-trigger flare-ups of paranoia. Can falsely accuse others and not seem to realize it.
 • Focus on positive futures as a way to avoid present anxieties.
 • Can be grandiose; create big plans that they are secretly afraid of and may later sabotage.
 • Overtly paranoid Sixes usually have this wing.

Six’s Connection to Nine
• Brings brings faith, patience and the capacity to trust life.
 • Sixes find their place in the larger order of existence, feel aligned with the Big Flow, part of the larger order of nature.
 • Develop a friendlier safer image of the universe and feel like they belong to life.
 • Can strengthen the Sixe’s sense of mission and connect her to a feeling of destiny and to the personal power necessary to fulfill it.
 • The Six finds her courage as well as values worth being courageous for.
 • Healthy Nineish Sixes experience faith, not as a concept but as a body feeling.
 • When Sixes are in touch with this connection they may experience a more mystical sense of spirituality rather than the authority structure of an organized religion.
 •  They may also respond more strongly to nature and a sense of place or land.
 • They search for their own true feelings instead of relying on outside authorities to tell them what to do.
 • More likely to live in the present.
 • Can become numb, spaced-out and lazy.
 • Fractured, chaotic thinking. Go in circles; a Nine does this to avoid focused action while a Six is avoiding independent action that may provoke attack.
 • Merge dependently with their environment, more passive towards authority, may be noncommittal or ambivalent in relationships
 • Nine-like Sixes can get habit-bound, rut-prone, cautious and stuck. They take comfort in making things predictable, embracing little rituals and habits, trying to avoid taking risks.
 • Sixes can also procrastinate like Nines, going in circles, obsessing about everything except the most obvious step to take. The motivation is to avoid claiming their own power.
 • They may procrastinate, forgetting about things that have tangible consequence. Then they wake up and hyperactively save the day.

Six’s Connection to Three
  • Brings Sixes self-confidence, productivity and skillfulness.
 • The will and focus to finish what they start.
 • Able to make decisions and take action, sometimes exhibiting leadership qualities.
 • Brings an optimistic sense of possibility.
 • This connection also supports a striking professionalism.
 • Highly capable, if not always completely confident.
 • Many have good organizational and administrative talents.
 • They are also strong on quality control – what they do, they do well. They feel affirmed by what they produce.
 • Threeish Sixes can have a con artist streak.
 • They want to appear different than they are; hide their deviance with charm.
 • May mock and revile success but secretly envy it in others.
 • They can immerse themselves in activity as a way to manage anxiety, especially when counterphobic.
 •  Sixes are also prone to Three-like compensatory hyperactivity – they go in circles and do too much, especially when under stress.
 • Can stab you in the back, while believing they are the victim. Or present a meek front while conspiring behind the scenes.
 • They are competitive and want to best others but hide such motives to appear likable.
 •  Can become the unfair authority whom they would ordinarily fear.
 •  Perform well mainly to avoid criticism, especially from authorities.
 •  Ambitious for what they should want – based on the expectations and opinions of others – but out of touch with what they do want.
 •  Very unhealthy Sixes have more conscience than very unhealthy Threes, but they still can be manipulative, calculating and vengeful.


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